My Much-Awaited Debut

Hello? hello? Is this thing on?

Ah, ok, that's better.

Groom-ish guy here, chiming in with a tip: Don't tell a prospective bride she's stressing out, particularly when it happens to be true.

Everyone says planning a wedding is a big job, but the fullness of that reality doesn't really sink in until it begins. I thought planning the engagement was going to be the end of the hard part, and I didn't really have any anxiety about that at all. At least not until we got to the place, I put my hand in the bag, grasped the velvet box, and at that moment my mind went blank. To my credit I did manage to form intelligible words, but all of the suave and romantic things I had planned to say were gone as if they had cought the last helicopter out of Saigon. Fortunately, the event had the intended end result so I guess what I said was good enough.

As we basked in our newly-engaged glory a truth hit me: That was not the end. Fifty-seven months of dating does not culminate in an engagement. There is a wedding after that and someone has to plan it. Most grooms (still a strange sounding word to self-apply) are happy to be let off the hook and let the girls take over at this point but I figure hey this is my one chance to see what a wedding looks like from the other side (unless we consider reality television, which I rarely do) so I thought it would be fun to take a more hands-on approach, within reason. Also someone needs to make sure that there is a sufficient supply of refreshment at the reception, if you catch my drift.

We've only been doing this for three weeks now but plans have shifted to and fro so hopefully we are nearing a point where the basics are settled on and the big aspects can be addressed. We've looked at a few venues so far and are thinking outdoors but keeping options open at this point. Yesterday we went and checked out the tres fabuleux 7F Lodge in Wellborn, and when checking with the lady in the office about available dates I said something to the effect that we hadn't decided on a date yet but it was a ways off, next summer at the earliest. She matter of factly noted that that wasn't "a ways off" at all, and it became immediately clear to me that next July in a wedding planner's eyes might as well be next Tuesday. It's a completely different mindset.

So far everything is going well, but searching Google for wedding resources can be like drinking from a firehose. Weddings are a huge industry and the amount of stuff out there is a bit overwhelming. It reminds me a bit of a recent discussion I had with a customer about painting, and he was nonplussed at the lack of availibility of White Paint. Sure you can go to Lowe's and look at 387 different shades of neutral blankness. What you can't do, however, is buy White.

I'm beginning to think that planning a wedding is going be a bit like trying to buy White Paint, but if everyone out there will just remember my earlier advice I think we'll be ok: Don't tell a prospective groom he's stressing out, particularly if it happens to be true.

That is what I said, isn't it?